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Showing posts from May, 2008

Even if

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And all the struggles we went through
How I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain
There's a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
And the trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill, I…

Boy on a String

The marionetter has your number
Pulling your arms and legs till you cant stand on your own
Dragging your conscience on the stage
And your heart gets rearranged
And you cannot tell your mentor from your maker
Look at the crowds bleeding with laughter
Over the way you entertain at beckon call
They dont see behind the lights, or the painted backgrounds
They just like to see you fall

But you dont really mind
Cause youre just wasting time
You cant feel anything
Youre a boy on a string

I feel a sadness like gapetto
Watching the life that he created run away
Seeing the puppeteers intrusion,
And holding the remains of puppets that had rotted away
One day the curtain will not open
And all of the crowds will go away
Someday those strings will choke you, but until that day

Well you wont really mind
And youre just wasting time
You dont feel anything
Youre a boy on a string




JARS OF CLAY
boy on a string

HYBRIDIZED CHIMERIZM theory

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I have a theory. I actually have many, but I think i should start posting them so the world can be entertained by my intellectual insanity. They could be like, the new E=mc2, or just irrelevant ramblings. I never know.

Today I would like to write about Genetics. DNA. Evolution ETC.

My theory is loosely called: Hybridized Chimeraism: and how it could account for unexplained advancements in evolution.

First I should start out by explaining the basics you should know before I get to my “theory”


After the birds and bees bring the sperm and egg together, they combine and form a single cell. This cell soon divides, into two, and so on. Those cells eventually change into other types of cells - skin cells, brain cells, finger nail cells, etc. And about 9 months later you get a baby.

Well, sometimes, and without a known reason, when the cells are first dividing they get confused and start to separate. Instead of the cells staying together and changing into a fetus, they separate and then each separ…

Haze

4/2/2003
Such a strange mood today. It was like I wasn't thinking

I am in a rut. Not like a depressed horrible crying intolerable sadness.. But a rut none the less. Its more like a blank feeling, blah! Its actually quite interesting cause im not really thinking about anything at all. Im just like woah, nothing. Very not like me at all, so its different. I tried to do it the last couple of nights to goto sleep, and maybe it stuck? Its weird! I dont even feel like typing about it or anything. So ill stop

Thats how I described it at wrok. I didn't goto school I was up till 4 last night. I weighed 151 at the gym tonight< I dont eat very much anymore. I dont know what i want out of life. or how I will go about trying to figure it out. I just feel a kind of meaning less like never before. I dont understand what people think and how they act. I just want to go into someones head. But i have a feeling i really would want to knowing what other people think. I dont understand how ev…

My Senior Paper

Creation vs. Evolution in School

In the beginning was creation, and then came Darwin who discovered evolution. Ever since there has been a dispute over which theory is true, and which should be taught in the school system. Both theories have been taught as fact and both have been found not to be completely factual. Decisions need to be made on which theory should be taught in public schools and how both can be presented giving credit to each.


Creation was the first reason given to how we came to be on this planet. It gives credit to an infinite and all knowing source, God. This was written in the bible specifically in Genesis with Mosses being the author. The bible gives details to the order that creation took but is fuzzy on how long it took to create the earth. The bible says six days but it also says one day is as one thousand years, and one thousand years as one day to God (II Peter 3:8), so it is hard to tell exactly how long it took in this theory. In the bible it says that God cr…

The OC

On: Norms and Orange County 03/24/2003
"We go about our lives trying to conform to norms and have it hammered in our heads from the begging that we are supposed to follow the rules that are set out by society.. But knowing that's all they are: Products of the current society we live in: just makes them seem less important. We want the best of everything here in orange county, nothing will ever ever be good enough. That's the mind set, that's the culture, that's what we have shoved in our face.. But knowing that in another place someone could be just as content with a peace of bread and a place to stay without the scent of decay, as with a $100 dinner and a Bentley.. Its just crazy! .. AND maybe what's worse is that I can't get past it. I am not going to be able to magically be happy with air, food, and water. I can work on it but its sooo deep in me now. I would have to go to great lengths to conquer it. Like moving or living somewhere else. Or doing s…

Mini Mee

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I found these on a DVD with old pictures on it. A big theme to my life has been animals. Here you can see me with a balooga, which i'm as white as, and elephant, and a Duck. I was on a horse before i was on a bike.



I've also had just about every kinda pet possible. Hampsters, mice, rats, pigs, cows, sheep, ducks, chickens, a ferret, snakes, turtles, salamanders, toads, hermit crab, dogs of course, cats, horses, goat, budgies, rabits, guinie pigs.



I never realized how spoiled i was until i got a lot older. When you're young, you dont know anything but your own life. This is the house where I mostly grew up. It was on a hill overlooking a 9 achre avacado orchard. I didn't just have a back yard, I had a forest. When my parents bought it, it was 200k. Now it's 3 million. Too bad they didn't keep it. It's made out of Adobe bricks.






This is a weird coincidence. The front of the house had three huge windows. Look familiar?

I was also born in Big Bear, and my last nam…

CA GAY Marriage

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It's bound to be a hot topic, and by hot I mean people are going to be very heated over the decision to overturn the ban on gay marriage in California.

Gayism, which I'll use instead of Homosexuality has had quite the history. Being accepted, to being ignored, to being burned over it - it's more controversial than race. But less conspicuous because it's a prefference that can be hidden. There seems to be an strange aversion to it, created from each generation telling their children it's wrong and immoral. Usually stemming from religion, specifically the bible.

Interestingly, the bible only mentions gayism once. "A man shall not lay with the lying's of a man as he would a woman." that's it. that's all it says. Its in the verse before it says your decedents shouldn't pass into the fire of memnoch. Whatever that means. It's also in a chapter where it says you're not allowed to pick up sticks on a certain day, or have sex with a woman …

Hybridized Chimerizm

I have a theory. I actually have many, but I think i should start posting them so the world can be entertained by my intellectual insanity. They could be like, the new E=mc2, or just irrelivant ramblings. I never know.

Today i would like to talk about Genetics. DNA. Evolution ETC.

My theory is loosly called: Hybridized Chimerizm: and how it could account for unexplained advancements in evolution.

First I should start out by explaining what Chimerism is. I've known about it for the last couple years, via television. I've known about a similar thing- Fetus in Fetu since my college years. I wrote about it when I was in philopshy, just for shits and giggles.

Ok wait. So after the birds and bees bring the sperm and egg together, they combine and form a single cell. This cell soon divides, into two, and so on. Those cells eventually change into other types of cells - skin cells, brain cells, finger nail cells, etc. And about 9 months later you get a baby.

Well, sometimes, and without a k…

ABRACADABRA.

ABRACADABRA.

By Abracadabra we signify
An infinite number of things.
'Tis the answer to What? and How? and Why?
And Whence? and Whither? -- a word whereby
The Truth (with the comfort it brings)
Is open to all who grope in night,
Crying for Wisdom's holy light.

Whether the word is a verb or a noun
Is knowledge beyond my reach.
I only know that 'tis handed down.
From sage to sage,
From age to age --
An immortal part of speech!

Of an ancient man the tale is told
That he lived to be ten centuries old,
In a cave on a mountain side.
(True, he finally died.)
The fame of his wisdom filled the land,
For his head was bald, and you'll understand
His beard was long and white
And his eyes uncommonly bright.

Philosophers gathered from far and near
To sit at his feat and hear and hear,
Though he never was heard
To utter a word
But "Abracadabra, abracadab,
Abracada, abracad,
Abraca, abrac, abra, ab!"
'Twas all he had,
'Twas all they wanted to hear, and each
Made copious notes of the mystical speec…

This made me laugh

You have to listen to it for a minute before you see why.... (it's worth the wait~!)I'm still laughing

May 01, 2008

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"So i'm not sure reading over all my past journals was the experience i was expecting. I kinda get a pathetic, sad vibe from my past self and it only served to make me aware of how little things have changed. the same stupid characters, lack of motivation, and drunken dumass-ness. And that's basically my life now. I feel like i'm on the verge of finally moving on, w... w/... hmm w/ whatever - my life. Accomplishments, getting over shit. Whatever. If i knew I would do it, supposedly But I dont. Even though I kinda know what I gotta do. It's like i've been waiting for something or someone, but deep down realize it's ME! Derek, where are you? Derek, who are you? I feel like.. I dont want to feel anything anymore!"

Telephonic Sheep — by Jean Luc Cornec

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baaaaad ass!

hahahaha

Photography (mine)

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hmmm

1. Look at your zipper.

See the initials YKK? It
stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's
largest zipper manufacturer.



2. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will
bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the
glass to the top.



3. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. (This isn't true, it does echo ((I saw it on tv)))



4. 40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the
sales of Happy Meals.



5. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were
misspelled.



6. On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the
wrong parents daily. ( I doubt this)



7. Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a
dog's heart and nervous system.

A few ounces is enough
to kill a small sized dog.



8. Most lipstick contains fish scales. (yeah right)



9. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.



10. Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and
draw with the other at the same time. (everyone can do this, he just did it better)



11. Because metal was scarce, the…

What Hurts the Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving…

Vaccine vs Autism in Federal Court

Many people have claimed that Vaccines cause autism, but with little to no proof to back it up. It's now going to the federal court.

Since i'm slightly autistic it's interesting to me. Although I wouldn't totally dismiss the idea of a vaccine influencing behavior, I think it's unlikely that it's the sole cause of autism. If there were one person who's not been vaccinated who was autistic, then it would mean that a vaccine isn't the cause. Also, if someone were vaccinated and didn't get autism, then why would only some people be converted to autism? Which is what the vaccine theory claims. - A normal child is vaccinated, and then turns autistic. But that cant be totally true, because almost everyone is vaccinated but only 1/200 or so are autistic - all in varying degree.

Some don't speak, and some can go their whole lives and not realize they are autisic - like me!

I had all the signs, but none were ever severe enough for my mom to have me diagnosed…